Woods Better Come Clean, Remove Stain

Stupid me. Silly me. Naive me. Influenced by his nearly impeccable record in the public eye, I cut Tiger Woods a big break the other day. I theorized he was off to a convenience store at 2:25 a.m., a celebrity's common course to avoid crowds, and that maybe he was tired when his SUV struck a fire hydrant and then a tree on a neighbor's property. I thought he would meet with police, tell his innocuous story for the record and move on with his life. I believed in Tiger Woods.

Three days later, I'm not sure what to believe.

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The public deserves to hear exactly what happened in the wee hours of Thanksgiving night outside his mansion in Windermere, Fla., suddenly a world-famous dateline when it didn't have to be. Mind you, this is not the demand of a journalist protecting the right to know. No, this is the requirement of a consumer who has seen Woods polish up a supposedly spotless image for years while selling us cars, apparel, golfing goods, cereal, cameras, energy drinks, razors, credit cards and video games, all feeding into his unstoppable machine as the world's first billion-dollar athlete. If Woods is going to market his image so aggressively and relentlessly, part of the deal is addressing a negative issue when it surfaces. He maintains his credibility that way, his believablity.

Instead, he has fiercely avoided coming forward with facts about the accident and what led up to it, only fueling suspicions that something is amiss and even scandalous. Were this a minor episode, you figure he'd fire up his Web site and write, "Hey, everyone, relax! Chill! I was going to hit golf balls. No one would bother me at the driving range at that hour, right?" But Woods used that Web site Sunday to lash out at the media and other conspiracy theorists, scolding them for being dead wrong yet not explaining exactly what they're wrong about.

"This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me," Woods wrote. "I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.

"This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible."

Injecting more mystery into the mess, Woods canceled a meeting with Florida Highway Patrol troopers for the third time. While he isn't required by law to deliver a statement to the police, his agent had told the FHP on Saturday that Woods and his wife, Elin, would be available Sunday. If there are indeed "many false, unfounded and malicious rumors" circulating, why wouldn't the Woodses use the occasion to clear the air? Where was he going at that hour? Was he drinking, even though officers saw no reason to administer a breathalyzer test? And why oh why did his wife feel compelled to use a golf club to smash out a rear window when the vehicle wasn't even going fast enough for the airbags to deploy? "The only person responsible for the accident is me," Woods wrote. "My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false."

Then what is the true assertion?

He is not getting the right advice, not that he ever listens to anyone but himself anyway. "We have been informed by the Florida Highway Patrol that further discussion with them is both voluntary and optional," wrote Mark Steinberg, Woods' agent, in an e-mail to the Associated Press. "Although Tiger realizes that there is a great deal of public curiosity, it has been conveyed to FHP that he simply has nothing more to add and wishes to protect the privacy of his family." But by telling his story -- assuming it's as harmless as he suggests -- Woods would do him and his family a favor and end the controversy at once. Until he does, we'll wonder just what the hell is going on his life, shocked that he would be immersed in such an ordeal. Other than his tantrums on the course and a GQ magazine article in 1997 that quoted him telling off-color jokes, Woods has encountered no minefields, which is rather remarkable in the age of high technology and zero privacy. Last month, he addressed his lifestyle on his Facebook page: "I'm asked why people don't often see me and Elin in gossip magazines or tabloids. I think we've avoided a lot of media attention because we're kind of boring."

He's boring no longer. As each day passes, the story grows worse for Woods. Rachel Uchitel, the so-called New York nightclub hostess who denied a National Enquirer story that she was having an affair with Woods and was with him recently in Australia, has hired -- pause for deep breath -- celebrity attorney Gloria Allred. When I hear Allred's name, why do I think of Larry King? Because she trots her clients onto the show, which means Mr. Suspenders will be asking Uchitel, point blank, "Did you have an affair with Tiger Woods?" If she says yes and she's telling the truth, we're looking at the most famous sports womanizer since Michael Jordan, the icon to whom Woods is often compared.

Jordan's image wasn't smudged too much by his affairs. For one thing, they were common knowledge. For another, he never fashioned an image as a loyal family man. But Woods has spoken regularly about his life as a homebody, father and husband. News of an affair would cause a considerable loss of respect and make us question what else he has been hiding through the years. Again, the woman has denied the story. But why is she hiring Allred?

We all know Woods is a control freak. But this is no way to control the spread of dangerous gossip. He is scheduled to host the Chevron World Challenge this week in suburban Los Angeles, where Uchitel happens to be huddling with Allred, and he is scheduled to speak at a news conference Tuesday. But there has been no indication that he'll play after sustaining facial lacerations, bleeding and bruises. Woods wrote on his Web site that he "sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore."

For all his wealth, fame and pride as perhaps the most dominant athlete who ever lived, Woods has a more difficult life than you think. He intensely guards his privacy in an age when it's impossible as a celebrity to lead a sane, normal existence. But this is no time to be obstinate and disappear into a cave. Numerous agents and public-relations experts have said he is making a terrible mistake by not coming clean, and I agree. If this is a minor matter, he needs to say so. Until he does, we are left to wonder what this is all about. He wants to end the chapter with these words on his site: "This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be."

But making it go away, like an opponent on the back nine, isn't that simple. This isn't about intrusions. This is about the image of the biggest athlete on the planet, an image that will continue to take a beating until he explains what went down at 2:25 a.m. outside his home. He has sold us products for more than a decade, beginning with his "Hello, world" speech in 1996.

Now, he must sell himself to a doubting public. Hiding behind a Web site and a wall of privacy isn't enough, even for those of us who wanted to believe him and feel very foolish about it.