Josh Hamilton's Triumphant Tale Too Special to Implode Now

He could have used the Photoshop excuse. Or the blogs-have-no-credibility defense. Or the "I don't remember'' line. Or the staged-prank claim. Or the evil-cousin-looks-just-like-me explanation. Or the b.s. spin tried by every high-profile juicer who can't face steroids reality.

Instead, Josh Hamilton tried an approach rarely seen anymore when a famous sports figure is caught in a compromising position. He brought truth, honesty and directness -- his only chance to make us understand just why in the hell a young woman was fondling his crotch while he and more young women were taking turns licking whipped cream off each other's chests. Yes, he told us, the 12 Josh Gone Wild photos were real, shot last January in a bar near the Arizona State campus. Yes, he told us, it was the only time since Oct. 6, 2005 that he wasn't sober after his long, well-chronicled battle with alcohol and drugs. Yes, he told us, he is embarrassed, humiliated and pointing the finger at no one but himself.

He is an addict who relapsed. It happens. What doesn't happen very often is the addict confronting his demons, head on, just hours after the photos would surface on a blog site called Deadspin.com. Whether Hamilton wins the war with himself obviously remains unpredictable business, but anyone with a heart and a grasp of his disease should be impressed with his openness. Not only did he inform his wife, Major League Baseball and the team that employs him, the Texas Rangers, the day after his offseason romp, he was perfectly willing Saturday to stand by his locker in Anaheim, Calif., and address the situation with reporters.

It tells me he still has hope. And that's good, because the Josh Hamilton story has been too triumphant to implode now. Sport needs it. America needs it.

"I'm embarrassed about it. For the Rangers, I'm embarrassed about it. For my wife, my kids," Hamilton said. "I'm not perfect. It's an ongoing struggle, and it's real. I am human and I have struggles. It's one of those things that just reinforces about [the ills of] alcohol. Unfortunately, it happened. It just reinforces to me that if I'm out there getting ready for a season and taking focus off the most important thing in my recovery, which is my relationship with Christ, it's amazing how these things can creep back in.

"Honestly, I hate that this happened. But it is what it is. You deal with it."

And how many drinks did he have that night in the desert? "If I think I can have one drink, I think I can have two, and then it snowballs to 10 or 12,'' he said. "This guy I knew, he always used to joke, 'I'm allergic to alcohol. Every time I drink it, I break out in orange jumpsuits and handcuffs.' Some people it just doesn't mix with, and I'm one of those people.


"As soon as it happened, I called my support staff -- Katie, the organization and MLB -- and told them what happened. I was open and honest about it. People with an addiction can make a mistake."

He slipped when no one was looking, relaxing weeks before spring training after a workout at the Arizona-based Athletes' Performance Institute. He wanted something to eat, but rather than choose a food-oriented restaurant, Hamilton opted for Maloney's in Tempe, a hangout and bar first and a burger place second. He started to drink and, before you knew it, his shirt was off and the girls were treating him like a Chippendales dancer. "I wasn't mentally fit to go in there, spiritually fit, and it just crossed my mind, 'Can I have a drink?' And, obviously, I can't," he said. "That was very well reinforced, and I can honestly say since that night I have not even had a thought of trying another one."

Some will scoff at that -- and perhaps rightfully so. Already revealed to be vulnerable, what stops Hamilton from relapsing again in some major league city where temptations are as close as the hotel lobby and bar? As he once said of his struggles, "I'd go five or six months without picking up a ball or swinging a bat. By then, I'd been in rehab five or six times -- on my way to eight -- and failed to get clean. I was a bad husband and a bad father, and I had no relationship with God. Baseball wasn't even on my mind." And isn't it hard to dispute those who call him a hypocrite of sorts? After all, he is selling a $23.99 book about his tale -- "Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back'' -- and he did an ESPN show, Homecoming, that profiled him as a conquering hero before a studio audience in his North Carolina hometown. Beyond Belief? Sadly, some would say Hamilton himself is beyond belief.

The Josh Hamilton story has been too triumphant to implode now. Sport needs it. America needs it."I don't feel like I'm a hypocrite. I feel like I'm human," he said. "I got away from the one thing that keeps me straightened out and moving in the right direction, and that was my relationship with the Lord. I always knew there would be a chance it would come out. I believe I got to the point where if you have alcohol in your system, your inhibitions go out the window. The details don't matter -- what kind of drink it was. It just put me in a bad situation.

"I thought, to be honest with you, that [the photos] already would have been out. I talked to Katie about it, about what happened that night, what I could remember, and tried to prepare her for what might come out. We talked early [Saturday]. Obviously, she's very disappointed, and I'm very embarrassed for her and the organization and my children. You can't completely prepare for it. We've been praying about it ever since."

Just last summer, I sat mesmerized in New York as Hamilton crushed batting-practice pitches all over the old Yankee Stadium. It was the Home Run Derby contest at the All-Star Game, but really, this was Hamilton's coming-out party from his self-inflicted darkness. He hit 28 in the first round alone, 13 in a row at one point, and the standing ovations were long and loud in the Bronx and around the country. Who didn't love the story of the gifted player who fell prey to drugs and almost died, then found the Lord and his family and reclaimed his talent?

That's why our hearts sank when the news circulated Saturday. It was as if one of our own sons had suffered a setback. I wasn't angry in the least. I was saddened and disappointed but, admittedly, not shocked. The only criticism I have is why Hamilton didn't have a chaperone in Arizona. During the regular season, he is watched closely by Rangers coach Johnny Narron, who stays in an adjoining room to Hamilton's on road trips. They eat together, pray together, play cards together. Narron guards his hotel room to make sure unwanted past influences stay away. Initially Saturday, Narron said he didn't believe the photos were authentic. But how would he know if he wasn't at Maloney's?

"It's not Johnny's fault," Hamilton said. "We have a good relationship, and we trust each other. Obviously, I breached that trust. I've asked for his forgiveness. We've done things to improve that and be on the same page even more.''

Meanwhile, the Rangers are saddled with baggage they don't need as they try to hang in the American League West race with the Angels. Hamilton has yet to fail a drug test -- he is mandated for three a week by MLB -- and there will be no disciplinary action because he isn't banned from drinking. But everywhere the Rangers go, a Hamilton cloud will lurk. "It's something you're always going to deal with," general manager Jon Daniels said. "We just have to help him make the best decisions we can. I'd hesitate to say it's something we're going to put behind us, but we're not going to allow this to become a distraction the rest of the season and we'll try to move on as best we can.''

Nor will there be a leave of absence. "That would be counterproductive," Daniels said. "We knew that going in when we acquired Josh. We know the risks of dealing with someone with substance abuse problems. Ultimately, he's a grown man and he has to make his own decisions. Nobody's here to babysit him, but we should help him make the right decisions and help him get through this."

It's a unique dilemma, if not unprecedented in baseball. Only because of his enormous ability is Hamilton being given a chance that other addicts wouldn't receive. Yet the Josh Gone Wild episode reminds us that a happy ending doesn't necessarily await. "This ongoing struggle -- battle -- it's very real,'' he said. "A lot of people don't understand how real it is."

I think we do now.