Flip-Flopper Brett Favre Flops, Puts Vikings in Bind

And so ends -- let's hope and pray -- the most maddening, confounding and embarrassing run of flip-flopping and wishy-washiness from a Hall of Fame athlete since ... since ... I can't remember when. Brett Favre now has retired, unretired, retired, expressed great interest in unretiring and finally, on Tuesday, two days before the start of Minnesota Vikings training camp, decided to stay retired.

Until, I don't know, either tomorrow or next week or next month, when the itch returns and he plants a story through his agent that he might have interest in helping, oh, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

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The crazy mood swings won't alter his legacy, of course, as one of the NFL's most inspirational men, courageous competitors and accomplished quarterbacking record-holders. But if he plays this public mind game one more time, I'm personally heading to Mississippi and strapping him to a John Deere tractor with rope and duct tape. He'd be folksy as a TV analyst. He'd be great as a coach and mentor to kids. He'd be fun as a bar owner.

But this is it as a football player, Brett. Or else a country that wants to love you will look at you as a psychotic laughingstock, if it doesn't already.

"It was the hardest decision I've ever made,'' Favre told ESPN, in words we've heard before. "I didn't feel like physically I could play at a level that was acceptable. I would like to thank everyone, including the Packers, Jets and Vikings -- but, most importantly, the fans."

So why have shoulder surgery in May? Why impress the Vikings enough with arm strength that coach Brad Childress pronounced him ready to play? When all signs seemed pointed toward another comeback, Favre shocked us again with news that his ankles and left knee were sore while working out privately the last few weeks. Since when is the ironman of football ironmen bothered by a little pain? It makes no sense, not that any of his decisions really have the last two years.

"I had to be careful not to commit for the wrong reasons,'' Favre said. "They were telling me, 'You went through all this, you had the surgery and you've got to finish it off.' But I have legitimate reasons for my decision. I'm 39 with a lot of sacks to my name ... The problem with playing in every game for 16 or 17 years is that people think there's nothing wrong with you and you can play forever. The things that bothered me, bothered me a little more. It takes longer to recover, if you do recover."

Which would be a fine explanation if he hadn't made the same comments when he re-retired from the New York Jets in February. As recently as mid-June, Favre appeared on HBO's Joe Buck Live' and confirmed he was strongly considering a return to the Vikings, the geographical and divisional rival of the team he symbolized for 16 seasons, the Green Bay Packers. He even referred to the Vikings as "we.'' Said Favre: "It makes perfect sense as far as coming back because it's an offense I ran for 16 years. I can teach the offense.''

And as far as being called a traitor in Wisconsin, he shrugged. "I don't really know what to tell them,'' he said. "[Legendary Packers coach] Vince Lombardi went to the Washington Redskins when he left, and his name is on the Super Bowl trophy -- and we give that trophy out every year. I don't hear too many people say, `That damn traitor, he went to Washington.' Time heals a lot of things."

He won't have to worry about bad feelings among the Cheesehead folk. But he might have to deal with frustrated Minnesota fans who initially were excited about his possible arrival and now are left high and dry. Armed with all-world running back Adrian Peterson and a fearsome defense, the Vikings would have been a prime NFC favorite to reach the Super Bowl. Imagine a healthy Favre throwing to neglected wideout Bernard Berrian, the perfect deep-threat complement to a dangerous running game. Now, they must deal with a quarterbacking situation -- Sage Rosenfels and Tarvaris Jackson -- that is weak enough to have prompted the team's months-long pursuit of Favre. Neither is a proven commodity in the league, and it wasn't long ago when Jackson's poor performance led to a first-round playoff loss. Childress tried to spin things Tuesday, saying, "It was a rare and unique opportunity to consider adding not only a future Hall of Fame quarterback but one that is very familiar with our system and division. That does not detract from the team that we have. As we have consistently communicated, we feel good about our team and they have put forth a tremendous effort this offseason preparing for the season ahead. With this behind us, we look forward to getting training camp underway."

But his absence will loom large over the college town of Mankato, where he has left the Vikings in a competitive bind because of what can be called classic Favre selfishness. Does he ever consider the circumstances of the team during his long decision-making processes? It's not fair to the coaches and players to make them wait until the end of July. Worse, it's terribly unfair to Rosenfels and Jackson to zealously recruit Favre, which sends a message that they aren't trusted to start, then not sign him in the end. Psychologically beaten down, how are they expected to come to camp and excel? At best, it's a tense situation, as both indicated during the Favre waiting period. At worst, it will cripple the team's hopes.

"I won't lie and say it doesn't bother me, but I kind of got used to it," Jackson said. "Like any situation you're in, you want to know. But I guess it's not their job to tell me. So I'll just go out here and try to get better."

"Uncertainty is never a good thing, but again I can't control what the head coach does or the general manager does," Rosenfels said. "They're going to make decisions. One day when I'm a head coach or I'm a GM, I'll be making decisions. But right now I'm just a quarterback."

[Favre's] absence will loom large over the college town of Mankato, where he has left the Vikings in a competitive bind because of what can be called classic Favre selfishness.In one sense, at least the Vikings will avoid what tight end Visanthe Shiancoe described as "The Favre-a-palooza.'' Yet not minutes after the Favre news broke, the predictable Michael Vick conjecture began. There are certain places where Vick would be more welcomed than others after his dog-killing horror show, places where teams have strong-willed foundations and fans are respectful and supportive of management. One such place is Pittsburgh, where the town is in euphoria after another Super Bowl title (and Stanley Cup championship) and Steelers owner Dan Rooney is beloved. Another is New England, where Bill Belichick has been successful with notorious problem children such as Randy Moss and Corey Dillon and Patriots fans would view Vick as a worthy project.

Minneapolis, I'd say, is not a good city for Vick. I can see protests and civic backlash. But for the team's purposes, he'd be a positive gamble because, unless he has lost his skills in prison, he is far better than either of the incumbents. Much as I think Vick shouldn't have been reinstated until the offseason, I can see a scenario where he is signed, Rosenfels and Jackson struggle and Childress -- with so much at stake -- prepares him to play the second half of the season. If nothing else, he could be brought in as a backfield weapon with Peterson.

By opening the gateway to Vick, commissioner Roger Goodell has done exactly what I feared: turned a league with compelling training-camp story lines into the 24/7 Vick Channel. There isn't a city in the NFL where fans haven't pondered, to varying degrees, the Vick fantasy the last two days. Jacksonville makes some sense after David Garrard's 2008 struggles. Buffalo does, too, now that Terrell Owens has defended Vick publicly. Cleveland could use him if Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson flop. San Francisco has a similar non-descript situation with Shaun Hill and Alex Smith. Dan Snyder always is capable of a high-profile surprise in Washington. But Minnesota does make sense, admittedly.

At this point, I'm so sick of Favre that I'd almost rather see Vick in purple. The constant back-and-forth has been that torturous. As Vikings linebacker Ben Leber told the Associated Press, "In my mind, this should be the end of it. To be respectful of the players that are involved and the team as a whole, you have to put an end to this and you can't let it linger on."

Oh, but as sure as humidity and heat in August, you sense Favre will make it linger on. Please don't, Brett. Or America will disown you.