Artest Project Will Keep Lakers On Top

Years ago, this would have constituted franchise suicide. Years ago, when Ron Artest was attacking fans and and facing spousal-abuse charges and firing obscene gestures and qualifying as the NBA's scariest menace to society, you wouldn't wish him upon your most despised team. But even the unhinged grow up eventually, which is why I dare say the Los Angeles Lakers have made a monumental statement in signing the sort-of-reformed problem child.

That is, they remain favorites to repeat as league champions, meaning Kobe Bryant has a chance to one-up Shaquille O'Neal and Phil Jackson can start winning rings for his toes. A blurry flurry of offseason activity has kept David Stern's domain in the American sports limelight, no easy feat with Andy Roddick and the Williams sisters widening our Wimbledon attention spans and Albert Pujols in the early flirting stages with a hard-to-get babe called the Triple Crown. For about a week, the Lakers were overtaken for perceived pre-eminence by the Cavaliers, who acquired O'Neal -- come on, Cleveland, you can do better than "The Big Freeze" for a nickname (try "The Quake by the Lake") -- and then made a beeline toward Artest.

But the Lakers have assets that a team in northeast Ohio simply cannot match. They have championships. They have Hollywood. They have 75-degree sunshine in January. They have Magic Johnson to initiate the recruiting process. And they have Bryant, who has a perversely positive relationship with Artest, though you wouldn't know it while observing their postseason tussles. If Ron-Ron had selected the James Gang, the Cavs would have been the team to beat. By choosing the Lakers, he tilts the power back to the Lakers, who followed the Artest deal by announcing Friday that Jackson will return as coach and try to win his 11th championship.

That's a vital development, too, because without the Zenmaster's mastery of the psyche, Artest still would be volatile enough to sabotage the greater cause. When I argue Jackson's case as the greatest coach in professional sports history, the rationale always embraces his unique ability to maximize monstrous egos and maniacal minds and expertly funnel them into his team-first mantra. It will be tricky managing Artest when he morphs into a ticking bomb and becomes a technical-foul machine. But if anyone can make it work, it's Jackson, who dealt with a certain Dennis Rodman in Chicago and still won three championships. The paradigm is similar, with Jackson joining a driven, demanding superstar to rein in any disruptive impulses. Artest is Rodman. Bryant is Michael Jordan.

The common denominator is Jackson, who still has a chance to go out on top. The only issue is his health and whether a history of medical issues -- two hip replacements, angioplasty surgery to open a clogged artery, swelling in his lower legs -- will sideline him for sizable stretches. Every so often, the Lakers can get away with keeping him at home while assistant Kurt Rambis coaches the team on the road on, say, the second night of back-to-back games. But as general manager Mitch Kupchak said, Jackson's absences must be mimimal. The Artest project makes his regular presence even more imperative.

"I had a great talk with Phil," Artest said. "I'm a huge fan of his and I can't wait to show him what I can do."

"I feel confident that I can gainfully pursue an NBA season with another long playoff postseason," Jackson said. "All things point to go."

Who knew that Artest, who never has played in an NBA Finals and has brought down more teams than he has helped, would alter the course of basketball history? Not only did he reject the Cavs and hurt James' quest to win in what could be his final season in Cleveland, his presence contributed heavily in Jackson's thought process about returning. The assumption in L.A. is that Lakers owner Jerry Buss, also the father of Jackson's significant other, realized the 64-year-old coach needed a professional challenge and a roster upgrade to coax his return. And without doubt, Artest improves the Lakers with his toughness and lockdown defensive dominance against the league's elite scorers, not to mention an offensive flair good for 14 performances of 20 points or more in the regular season's final eight weeks. Among those arguing against the signing is Los Angeles Times sports columnist Bill Plaschke, who contends the Lakers are threatening their championship chemistry by thrusting a lunatic into the mix while allowing the improving Trevor Ariza to sign with Houston and effectively take Artest's place there.

Sorry, this is a no-brainer. In one swoop, they launched a pre-emptive strike against Cleveland and made themselves tougher and better. Unless Artest completely wigs out and becomes the rare prominent player not to win a championship under Jackson, it has the look of a steal. And to think only two summers ago, Bryant was on his I-want-to-be-traded media tour, pushing management to wake up and make a series of sound deals that began with Pau Gasol and continues with Artest. They have been courting each other for a while, with Artest a regular Staples Center visitor when his schedule allows and the influential Bryant lobbying behind the scenes. Now, they are strange but ideal bedfellows.

"For years now, the Lakers have expressed interest in having me play for them, but we could never get the stars to align," Artest said. "I'm finally a Laker and I can't wait to get on the court with Kobe, Pau and the rest of the team -- and play for Phil. The Lakers really made me feel wanted. I look forward to helping (them) defend their championship, and it will be great to finally not get booed in the Staples Center."

Wanted? No one has been recruited this hard in L.A. since Demi Moore stalked Ashton Kutcher. Johnson called Artest. Jackson called Artest. Buss took Artest to lunch and sealed the deal Thursday, not long after O'Neal was meeting the media in Cleveland and announcing, with James squarely in mind, "My motto is very simple: 'Win a Ring for the King.' " Don't think for a nanosecond that O'Neal's move to a major rival didn't inspire the Artest movement. You could just hear Bryant on the phone with Buss, urging his boss to sign Artest before the Cavs swooped in. For once, Kobe is in a blissful state, having won a championship and committing to staying with the Lakers when he had a chance last week to opt out. If you're Buss and Kupchak, you need to keep him in a euphoric state.

Artest accomplishes that, even if memories are fresh of their recent playoff confrontations. Remember when Artest, called for a foul and angry that Bryant hadn't been whistled for an earlier elbow to his neck, rushed over to Bryant and confronted him face to face? "I told Kobe, 'You've got to relax. You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?' " said Artest, who was ejected from the game. Then there was the verbal warfare earlier in the season, when Artest yapped in Bryant's ear -- and was torched for 31 points in the second half.

"It wasn't much of a battle," Bryant said. "I kicked his (butt)."

"We are not friends out there at all," Artest said. "After the season, we might play pickup games or something like that. Not now."

Suddenly, mere months later, they are partners in crime, making the Lakers better than Cleveland with Shaq, Orlando with Vince Carter and Boston with Rasheed Wallace (if he signs there). As for Shaq, well, wouldn't it be incredible fun to see LeBron and O'Neal meet Kobe, Artest and Jackson in the Finals?

"They say things happen in three," Shaq said. "I won with the great Kobe, the great D-Wade (Dwyane Wade) and now it's my job to win one with the great LeBron James. We have everything in place. We just got to get it done. We all know it's LeBron's team."

But you're 37, right? "To me, there's two centers that have done something very special. I'm one and Tim Duncan's the other. I'm still the shogun in this league," he said. "Right now, we won't have any matchup issues and we won't be doubling anybody, and you can underline that 100 times."

And that nickname? "A friend tweeted me with 'The Big Freeze,' " he said. "I don't know about that one. I've got to go home, play around with the kids and figure something out. I'll have one."

And what do the kids think of your famous new teammate? "This sort of puts me in a funny situation, because my sons actually love LeBron more than they love me. I'm a little jealous about it," he said. "For me, at the end of my career, I'm honored to play with the great LeBron James. We all know it's LeBron's team. I'm now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that's what I'm here to do."

And what about playing in a frozen city for the first time after a career spent in the sun: Orlando, L.A., Miami and Phoenix? "I'm from north New Jersey, where we had harsh winters," said O'Neal, who was handed a snow shovel and winter boots by Cavs owner Dan Gilbert. "So I'll be ready."

He was the NBA's biggest story for only a few hours longer. I have a feeling next June will have a similar ending. And don't be shocked if Artest pulls one of his old gags and yanks down Shaq's shorts, because even if he finally has grown up, the man-child is still rambunctious that way.