Worst Job in College Hoops: Kentucky Fried Chaos

BOSTON -- Tubby Smith is much too dignified to laugh out loud, or LOL in the text-message age. But for all the abuse he took at Kentucky during a decade that was absolutely dreadful -- a national championship, a 263-83 record, an NCAA tournament appearance every season, just horrendous stuff -- who could blame him if he wanted to giggle to himself Friday?

Seems the bluegrass has turned to fertilizer in Lexington.

Smith's once-golden successor, Billy Gillispie, was dismissed after two tumultuous seasons at the most blueblooded of college basketball programs. Remember when those obnoxious, overscrutinous UK creatures ripped Smith as "Ten-Loss Tubby" and rejoiced when he left for Minnesota? Well, Tubby never lost to Gardner-Webb and VMI at Rupp Arena. And Tubby never lost by 41 at Vanderbilt and at home to a 12-18 Georgia team when the Wildcats were trying to create late momentum for an NCAA bid. And Tubby never would blow games with confounding substitution patterns. And Tubby wouldn't have had two studs on his roster, an explosive scorer in Jodie Meeks and a skilled big man in Patrick Patterson, and settled for an NIT booby prize, breaking an 18-year streak of invites to the biggest March gala.

Yeah, we all should be laughing out loud at the arrogance of Kentucky. It hangs a state's entire identity on a basketball program and expects the coach to be a folksy local ambassador who makes the Final Four every spring, only to freak out when the powers-that-be don't do their homework and watch Billy Clyde become an aloof, disoriented flop. Maybe the bluebloods should realize Kentucky, which hasn't been to a Final Four since it last won a national title in 1998, no longer is America's premier program. It's stuck in the middle of the muck now, certainly not on the plateau of North Carolina, Kansas and -- this is going to hurt like a backhair-peeling session -- Louisville.

Predictably, Friday felt a lot like the last time Kentucky needed a coach. When Smith left, huge names were immediately targeted, but Florida's Billy Donovan said no and Villanova's Jay Wright and Texas' Rick Barnes rebuffed interest. Once again, before Gillispie could put the FOR SALE sign in his front yard, UK officials were on the horn with Donovan this week. How humiliating that they're now 0 for 2.

"In response to the rumors circulating about my interest in other jobs, I wanted to address this as quickly as possible. I am committed to the University of Florida and look forward to continuing to build our program here," Donovan said in a statement Friday, amid false reports he had cut a deal with Kentucky.

That must be a record for the quickest job-squelching denial.

You never know about Donovan's wavering mind -- he flipped after accepting the Orlando Magic job and returned to Florida -- but more likely, the search will center on two candidates. One is very well-known, Memphis' John Calipari, who is tiring of the Conference USA-is-weak stigma and might be ready for a new challenge after losing to Missouri in the Sweet 16. The other, Oklahoma State's Travis Ford, has a lower profile but passes political muster as a former Kentucky guard. Athletic director Mitch Barnhart will call Wright, Barnes and Michigan State's Tom Izzo, among others, but all would be making lateral moves and shouldn't be expected to leave. "It's a crazy business we're in," Wright said here Friday as Villanova prepared for the East Regional final against Pitt. "I always used a line with our assistants when they complain about things -- it's like The Godfather, this is the life we chose. It is what it is. You have to deal with it this time of year.

"I feel very fortunate I'm in a spot I don't have to deal with it. I'm happy to be at Villanova. I don't want to be anywhere else. Someone mentions your name, you're flattered. You're crazy if you don't say that, or you're not being truthful if you don't say that. But I don't want my name mentioned anywhere. I love Villanova. I've got a great athletic director, great president. As long as those guys are there, I'm good. And I can concentrate on coaching. A lot of times when you're not in that position, it's distracting."

Distracting? Gillispie was so rattled by the Kentucky experience, he twice berated an ESPN female sideline reporter, Jeanine Edwards, who reportedly had rejected his romantic flirtations in the past. Did you see him Friday, literally running away from a TV camera crew when he entered the basketball complex? I didn't know whether to laugh or give him a hug. The other night, after a loss to Notre Dame in the NIT, he turned religious, saying, "There's only one judgment that I'll really ever be concerned about, and I hope I pass that judgment. That's the only one I will ever be concerned about, and I'm really proud that's the only judgment that will ever have a real effect on me, and I hope I pass that one with flying colors."

Wow. Heavy. If I were advising any coach interested in the Kentucky job, I'd suggest you stay where you are.

Unless you want to be the next KFC.

Kentucky Fried Coach.

"All I know is to go to work, recruit, coach," Gillispie said on his final radio show. That's not nearly enough at Kentucky, where they want you to kiss babies, hug grandmothers, speak at the Rotary Club and be the biggest guy in the state. Rick Pitino and Joe B. Hall pulled it off, probably because they also were winning national championships. Smith never pulled it off because the drought grew lengthy after his first title and, well, some people in the state are bigots. Gillispie, a workaholic, never even attempted to schmooze the UK masses. They may have accepted his standoffish attitude if he'd won, but in his two years, he went 2-10 against top 25 opponents -- 0-5 this season. "A lot of teams would be happy with 22 (wins), but not always around here when it's not the right 22," Gillispie said.



At a press conference Friday, Kentucky officials made it clear that he wasn't what they wanted in a coach. "You have to be an ambassador to this program," said the school president, Dr. Lee Todd. "He had a lack of understanding that this job is a complete job that requires a lot more than just coaching and recruiting. It's kind of like the president's job; nobody ever writes out exactly what you have to do, but there is a lot to it. And philosophically, I think we need someone who nurtures the entire Big Blue Nation, has the philosophy that this is a very unique opportunity, a very unique job and it's one that is a lot broader."

"This is not just another coaching job,'' Barnhart said. "(Gillispie) spoke to things that were not in his job description, just about winning and losing and improving. This program is bigger than that. There's much more to it than that. It's something that you watch over a period of time, and this season came to an end and it became apparent that there were some differences in where we wanted to be. Sometimes, it's not the right fit, and that's my responsibility."

It's possible there is no right fit at Kentucky. We should have known this marriage was doomed when Gillispie refused to sign a contract that paid him $2.3 million a year. He never really explained why, but it was obvious he didn't trust someone or something. By not signing it, he botched a $6 million buyout, which goes down among the dumber contractual moves in coaching history. "Suffice it to say, it will be less than that," Barnhart said of the buyout amount.

Zero? Less than zero?

In retrospect, Billy Clyde Gillispie should have stayed at Texas A&M, a football school where hoops expectations are low and his performance level was high. He dared to take the Big Blue Gamble and let it end in tragicomedy, with a beaten man sprinting away from a camera crew, fleeing as quickly as possible from his basketball hell.

The coaching profession should take notes. Kentucky is a bad, bad job.